March 28, 2006

at: Two Short Stories about Swearing and Children


I.

I made a mix for my brother for his seventh birthday[1]. On the plus side, there is only one dirty word. On the downside, it is the dirty word "motherfuckin'".

On the other plus side, the oath in question appears in the Tenacious D song "Tribute", where it is sung quickly. Also, it is immediately followed by the transcendent part where Jack goes "The greatest song in the world, awwwww rah-- di! tsu-gi-du-gi-du di! gu-gu-flee-gu-gi-gu, gu-flee-gu-gi-gu, guh-gi-iiii!" and Kyle goes "ah! ah! ah! ah-ahhh... ah, ah!"[2]

II.

I went all the way until last week without saying a swear word during a class. But on Wednesday, i was working at a Christian school, and towards the end of the lesson i said, "And if anyone gets a checkmate, ohmigod, i'll be so excited."

As soon as i said it, i realized my error, and several kids in the front row looked slightly horrified.

"Ok, i know, i said a bad word. I'm sorry," i asserted quickly. So now there were theatrical gasps and all manner of tongue-clackery.

"All right, all right, i already apologized, it was an accident."

So then a kid in the back raises his hand and calls out, "I forgive you!" And pretty soon, i was being forgiven by an entire roomful of 7 year-olds.

I think Jesus would be proud.



[1]
1 Animaniacs - Yakko's World
2 Big Bad Voodoo Daddy - I Wanna Be Like You
3 Little Mermaid - Under the Sea
4 B-52's - Rock Lobster
5 Squirrel Nut Zippers - Hot - Put a Lid On It
6 Talking Heads - Little Creatures - Stay Up Late
7 Presidents of the United States of America - Presidents of the United States of America - Dune Buggy
8 Cake - Fashion Nugget - The Distance
9 Basement Jaxx - Rooty - Do Your Thing
10 The Flaming Lips - Transmissions From The Satellite Heart - She Dont Use Jelly
11 Tenacious D - self titled - Tribute
12 The Beatles - White Album - The Continuing Story Of Bungalow Bill
13 Lemon Jelly - Lost Horizons - Nice Weather For Ducks
14 Four Tet - Pause - No More Mosquitoes
15 The Avalanches - Since I Left You - Frontier Psychiatrist
16 Tom Green - Bumsong
17 Manu Chao - Esperanza - La Vacaloca
18 The Decemberists - Picaresque - The Mariner's Revenge Song
19 Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - Somewhere Over The Rainbow/What A Wonderful World

[2] If you haven't listened to this part ninety times in a row trying to transcribe it, you should probably try it.

Posted by tyler at March 28, 2006 11:59 PM